Monday, October 20, 2008

Divorce...

I do not find it a coincidence that death and divorce start with the same letter. I feel as though part of myself has died. For those of you who do not know, I am going through a divorce. I have been married for the last 15 years of my life. This is something I would not wish on anyone, especially those with children. I hope that this is the hardest thing I will ever have to go through in my life, because I don't believe I could endure anything like this again. It is a pain that will not go away. A month ago, I truly believed that I would die. Honestly. But thank God that I have my boys to help pull me through this because they are what has kept me going. I knew that I had to get up everyday and take care of them or I would have layed in the bed wishing for death. Things are starting to look up though and I have my friends and family to thank for helping me make it through this trying time. Divorce is not what I chose but it is happening. I have done everything I possibly can to save my marriage, but nothing has worked. So I walk away with a clear conscience knowing that I tried with all my heart and soul. I only hope to do what is right for my children and make this as easy as I can on them. My attorney told me the other day that people believe marriage changes everything. She said that isn't so. Divorce changes everything. I am terrified of this new change. I have never been alone in my life. I went from my parents house to being married. Although my husband drives a truck over the road, I always knew he was coming home. Now I am alone. I know this sounds crazy, because I have my boys, but I feel so alone. So please pray for me that I will do what is right for my children and make decisions in their best interests. Pray for my children during this difficult time. Also, pray for my husband. I only want what is best for him, too. I hope we both always do what is right for the boys and put them before anything else.

2 comments:

Veronica S said...

Shannon, I am so sorry you are going thru this. Divorce is a hard thing to go thru. Just keep your head up and don't give up. I will be praying for you and the boys. And David too! with much love Veronica

Tanya said...

Shannon, you probably do not know me, but I just want you to know that I will be praying for all of you.