2009

I am so... ready for a new year. A fresh start. Out with the old and in with the new. lol I plan to get rid of anything negative in my life this year. I want to surround myself with positive things and people. I want to spend more quality time with my boys and teach them that no matter what life throws your way, you can endure and make something positive out of it. I love where I am in life right now. I hope things only get better. I have made some mistakes in 2008 and boy did I learn from them. I want to thank the people that are close to me right now. The friends that have always been there for me. I hope you know how much you mean to me. To the one I adore, I will always wait on you.....

Happy Birthday Zackary...

Things are great right now. I love my new job. I am really enjoying life. Zack turned 15 today. I am feeling old. He went to the Christmas dance last night. ( I will post pics later). He loved it. He and I went to our great friends (Jason and Jennifer) daughter's birthday party yesterday. We had a good time. Happy Birthday Kylie. I am taking things slow and enjoying each day. I went to Atlanta last night, so I am pretty tired. I am going to post more when I get my internet at my new place hooked up. We are looking forward to Christmas and the boys are excited about Christmas break. Zack plans on getting his learner's permit this week. So watch out on the road! Have a great week!

Thanksgiving...

Here are a few pics from our friends Thanksgiving dinner.

A Fresh Start...

I have made several changes in my life in the past few weeks. I have moved to town in an apartment. I love it. I may miss my house one day ,but for now I need a change of scenery. I have a new job that I will be starting on Monday at Security Finance and I am really excited about that. I will miss subbing ,but again I need to make changes and become more independent. I am so excited about this new chapter in my life. I never imagined that I would be in this place in life and be this happy again. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving.

7 Weird /Unusual /Fun Facts

I've been tagged by Leanne @ Lots of Loops to give 7 weird/unusual/fun facts about myself. Here we go.....

1. I am a smeller. I smell everything. I smell my food, clothes, etc. I cannot eat or wear anything unless I smell it first.

2. I have a crush on someone. I think that's weird since I am 32 years old. But I do.

3. I buy everything in 3s. 3 can foods, bags of chips, etc.

4. I hate to put laundry up. I will wash it, dry it, fold it ,but I hate putting it away.

5. I cannot have dirty dishes in the sink. Not a cup or dish. I must wash it.

6. I hate to leave my house without making up my bed or vacuuming. I feel better when I come home if my house is clean.

7. I must clean every sink after washing my hands. In restaurants or at school, I always wipe of the sink and faucet.

**If you are reading this and haven't done it already, tag your it.

Thanks...

Thanks for the wonderful comments that so many people have left me. You are all so right. I have ALWAYS lived for everyone else in my life. I tried to please my mom and step dad as a child and I tried to please my husband and children as an adult. I often forgot about me. I believe now is the time I need to live for me a little. I will always be the nurturing person that I am, but I am going to think of myself a little more and try to do what makes ME happy. I don't want to always sound so negative in my posts. I hope it doesn't come across as that. For every bad thing that happens, there is usually 3 great things that happen, also. David and I are communicating better than we have in a very long time. I hope to always have this openness for the boys. This has been a learning experience. I now know what I am willing to "put up" with and I will not waste another day being unhappy. He and I are both happy now and I believe that makes us better parents. Pray that we will do what is best for the boys and only bring out the best in each other from this point on.

Roller Coaster...

I feel as if I am on a roller coaster. Up and down. Up and down. One day is terrible and the next day is great. Yesterday turned out to be a good day for the boys and I. After work, the boys went to Murfreesboro to Go USA funpark. ( Thanks Jason and Shane). It was a guys night out. The boys had a blast. My great friend, Jennifer and I went to Manchester rec center and worked out. I have been walking everyday. We enjoyed our little break. I have made a promise to myself to work out everyday and I am feeling great. I am thankful for the wonderful friends I have made. They help to keep the boys and I busy. The boys are going for an over night visit with their dad Saturday night and are looking forward to it. I am going to go out with friends. I will miss them, but I know they need to spend time with their dad. We are taking this one day at a time and I feel that things will work out for all of us. Have a great weekend!

I was wrong...

Just when I thought things were looking up our new puppy, Lil Bit dies. She got sick on Tuesday and I took her to the vet first thing Wednesday morning, but she still died yesterday afternoon. (Thanks Jason for burying her with Michael. You were a lifesaver). I also got my feelings hurt this week, but what doesn't kill you will make you stronger, right? I sure hope so. I'm sure God has a plan for me, I just don't understand what that may be right now. I know that I haven't done anything so bad to deserve all of the bad things that have been happening to me lately. Things are bound to turn around soon. I am going to remain positive and takes things day by day.

Halloween 2008...

Halloween was a blast. The boys and I had a GREAT time. I have such good friends now and I want them to know that I love them and appreciate them for being there for me. Being a single mom is strange. I was married at 17, so I kind of feel like I'm 17 again. The only difference is I have children now. I hope I am doing the right things for them. That's what I worry alot about these days. I feel as if good things are coming into my life. I hope I'm not wrong. I am going to take it one day at a time and enjoy each moment.

Happy Halloween...

I am so excited that Halloween has finally arrived. The boys and I love this time of year. We plan to have some fun tonight with friends. Everyone have a great and safe Halloween!

Update...

Things went better than I could have imagined in court yesterday. Now I am looking forward to Halloween and the weekend. The kids and I are planning to have a great Halloween with friends. It seems as if a ton has been lifted off of me (if things go as they are supposed to). I am looking forward to getting on with my life. Continue to keep me and my boys in your prayers.

Division....

I really never liked division when I was in school and I sure don't now. Who gets this? Who gets that? Which holiday do you want the children? Odd or even years? Every or every other weekend? My head hurts from even thinking about all of it. It took me a week to fill out my proposed parenting plan. Who would have thought that we would ever have to do this? The courts get to decide our lives for us. I feel as if I have no say in my life anymore. I didn't want any of this! When you are emotional, you shouldn't have to make decisions that will affect you and your children forever. But how long should a person wait to have some closure to this disaster? I now just want it over with. As crazy as that may sound, I feel as though I need to get on with my life. Sometimes things don't happen the way you plan or want them to ,but you have to make the best of it and I'm trying. I just take it day by day. I know that I'm not always going to do or say the right thing, but I have tried to do the right thing for 15 years and look where I am today. I hope that I don't make too many mistakes or embarrass my children. I feel as though I am entitled to screw up every now and then though. Wednesday is going to be a rough day. Please continue to pray for me and my family. I hope everyone has a great week.

Divorce...

I do not find it a coincidence that death and divorce start with the same letter. I feel as though part of myself has died. For those of you who do not know, I am going through a divorce. I have been married for the last 15 years of my life. This is something I would not wish on anyone, especially those with children. I hope that this is the hardest thing I will ever have to go through in my life, because I don't believe I could endure anything like this again. It is a pain that will not go away. A month ago, I truly believed that I would die. Honestly. But thank God that I have my boys to help pull me through this because they are what has kept me going. I knew that I had to get up everyday and take care of them or I would have layed in the bed wishing for death. Things are starting to look up though and I have my friends and family to thank for helping me make it through this trying time. Divorce is not what I chose but it is happening. I have done everything I possibly can to save my marriage, but nothing has worked. So I walk away with a clear conscience knowing that I tried with all my heart and soul. I only hope to do what is right for my children and make this as easy as I can on them. My attorney told me the other day that people believe marriage changes everything. She said that isn't so. Divorce changes everything. I am terrified of this new change. I have never been alone in my life. I went from my parents house to being married. Although my husband drives a truck over the road, I always knew he was coming home. Now I am alone. I know this sounds crazy, because I have my boys, but I feel so alone. So please pray for me that I will do what is right for my children and make decisions in their best interests. Pray for my children during this difficult time. Also, pray for my husband. I only want what is best for him, too. I hope we both always do what is right for the boys and put them before anything else.

: ) Finally...

I am really happy right now. A month ago, I would have never thought I would be saying this. Good things are coming into my life (or so I hope). The boys and I are settling into a new routine. We are on fall break, so we are going to get some much needed rest and maybe have a little fun. I plan to just spend time with my friends and family this week and maybe do a little cleaning around the house. I have let things go a bit, so now is a good time to play catch up. I hope everyone has a great week.

I am back...

I am back from hell. That is the only way I can describe what has been going on in my life these past few weeks. But now I am back and feeling much better with each passing day. For those of you who do not know what has been going on in my life ( and really want to know because you care), feel free to ask when you see me or call me. For those of you are are nosey and want to ASSume what it is, feel free to make whatever ASSumptions you may. I will give more details later when I am in a more comfortable place in my life to be totally open. I have tried to maintain as close to normal life for my boys as possible. We have been going to football games, we worked on the Freshman float for homecoming, and went to the Autumn Street Fair this past Saturday. I love these cool fall days and I'm looking forward to the activities that go on this time of year. Our school is getting ready for our annual fall festival. We love Halloween, so we are looking forward to that also. Next week is fall break and the boys are excited about that. My dad and step mom are coming to visit from Sevierville next week and I am looking forward to spending time with them. I am in a much better place here lately and I want to thank my friends, family and coworkers for all of your support during this extremely difficult time in my life. I cannot thank you all enough. I hope that I am as good a friend to you all as you have been to me. Please continue to pray for me and my family.

*The pics above are of our new addition, Lil Bit, from our Freshman float and of Michael in the Southern Standard. He was chosen to be a cub reporter for Morrison school.

Troublemakers....

To the troublemakers who read my blog to try and cause problems for my family... GET A LIFE!!! You must be REALLY bored if you look at my blog and then go tell people things that are untrue about myself or my family. I would like to keep my blog open to the public, but I may be forced to make it private. So if I don't personally know you or if I have never talked to you then stay away, go be happy and quit trying to cause problems for others.

Way to go Pioneers...

The JV football team won against Cookeville Thursday night 16 to 14. The varsity team also won against Shelbyville Friday night. Way to go boys! Good luck Varsity team Friday night against Franklin County (away) . JV doesn't have another game until September 15th.

Update...

So much has been going on lately. Zack has started the high school. I am subbing at Michael's school quite a bit. Zack is playing Freshman football so he is really busy with that. He had his first game Thursday night and it was alot of fun even though they lost. He got to play and loves it. He went to support the Varsity team on Friday night in Dekalb Co. He loves the high school. I am glad he likes it. I was so worried about him but he has adjusted well. Michael is in the 5th grade and he likes it. His ball team won 1st in season and tournament. I am so proud of the young men they are becoming. I plan to blog more now that we are getting in a routine. I hope everyone has a great week.

Our 4th of July Holiday...

How did you spend your 4th? Our family did several things. We went to the river under Frank G. Clement bridge. The boys played in the water a bit. While we were there, the bicentennial train came over the bridge. It was so cool. We also cooked out. Zack went to Morrison to watch the fireworks. While he was gone, Michael and I shot fireworks when it became dark outside. Afterwards, we picked Zack and his friend up and they came home and shot more fireworks. I had to make them come in because it was getting late. We really enjoyed our day. I hope you and your family had a wonderful 4th.

Yard Sale...

While my friends are at the beach, I am having a yard sale. Yard sales are soooooooo much work. I may need a vacation afterwards! The yard sale will be held at my sis-in-law's house, located at 499 Pike Hill Road in Mcminnville. I will be having it on Wednesday (2nd) and Thursday (3rd) starting at 7 a.m.. I may have it on Friday, but since it is going to be the 4th, I am not sure if I will or not. Come by and check it out.